BILL and the Diabetes

I wrote this to my children:
Just so you know: Three months ago during Dad's routine eye exam Dr. Tufte noticed a bleeding blood vessel in the back of Dad's left eye. Said he wanted to watch it more closely and had him make a 3 month appointment. He went today and Dr. Tufte said it is getting worse. What Dad has to now watch for is any blurring that starts inthat left eye. They cannot do laser surgery "until" the eye starts to blur. So, we have a follow up appointment again in 3 months; unless something occurs first. This is all caused by his diabetes. We ask for your prayers.
Then I wrote this to Britton later that day:
Britton - I wish you were here. I am feeling rather down about this. I don't know what Dad would do if he lost his sight. Just think of all the things he would lose - puttsing in the garage, making things, reading the Bible, playing solitaire, everything in this life. I don't know what Taylor and I would do................I know it's not going to happen over night.....................but I am scared.
And then she wrote back to me:
Of course we'll pray. But don't worry. Remember to give it to God.(Look at it this way...) Dad won't "lose" anything, he'll gain something...-learning new and different things.-gaining new and better acute senses.-beginning a new adventure of becoming even closer and rely more on Godthan you ever have in your life.And yes, it won't happen "overnight". It may not even happen at all.There is nothing to be scared about. Remember the times that you have gone through (what at the time seemed to be) the worst or lowest points ofyour marriage, AND YOU MADE IT THROUGH THAT. So just try to keep positive thinking. Like another walk through the park of life.
That really helped and I love her so much for this. Like I said before on my blog - as we grow older - I will need them more......

New Hope Evangelical Free Church

This has been my home church for 35 years. September 19th, 2004 was our last service. The church was 120 years old and the oldest in this district. Our numbers were getting too small to continue. It was a very hard decision to make. The last service was very very hard. We have SO many memories there. Our church family was like a "second home" to us.

Last Sunday we attended Shiloh EFC in West Fargo. We did enjoy it and did feel comfortable there; but it was not the same. Taylor and I went to Awana on Wednesday night and this Sunday we are going to try the Sunday School.

We don't want to go to a large church but want to be able to be involved in a smaller congregation. We are praying that God will lead us in this decision.

Randy/Chrissie Thorsvig's Wedding

On September 3rd, 2004 my oldest child was married. Randy was 33 years old and met the love of his life via the Internet over a year ago. Chrissie is a beautiful young woman that Randy waited all his life for. They were meant for each other and love each other dearly. They had a church wedding, reception and then a dance at our home. The weather was gorgeous and the stars shone!! We are so happy for him and pray that God will bless them with a long, spirit filled life together.

Many, Many Concerns/Thoughts

You know I told you once before this blog was for many "random" thoughts. Tonight I have "many" on my mind. Randy(my oldest) and his Bride to be, both lost their jobs this past week due to cut backs - 2 weeks before their wedding. What can I say? A parent's heart aches beyond description when their children go through tuff times. We all have to go through it - a parent's worries do not stop when a child turns 18 - to me, they get bigger with age. Yes, there are moments of pride and joy when you see them mature and make wise decisions also. Taylor starts school in about 10 days. I am scared for her - it's so so hard for her - the noise, the changes, the teachers, the rush of new schedules, the kids, the homework - the daily struggles. It seems so much (sometimes too much) for her to bear - Lord, please give us wisdom and guidance.

How can we.......

Bill and I were just talking tonight about the upcoming school year and his ability to carry Taylor on and off the bus. It is getting harder with each year. Our heart aches beyond words for her and we want to do everything possible for her. We have thoughts "Will she ever walk alone" ... "Should we be thinking about putting in a ramp?" ... "How hard will this school year be" ... "Should we be checking into getting her a motorized scooter" ... "Will she ever be any better than what she is now" ... We love her so much and want so much for her and for life not to be so hard on her.....but it will.

"3/4 CIRCLE"

You know how we say "it's comes full circle"?  Life is that way and we know it does come full circle from life to death.  This weekend I realized (as I have been the last couple of years) that I am 3/4th of the way to full circle.  Saturday we spent the day in Fergus Falls with Kris and his family at the County Fair.  It was rather hot and I did wear a hat, as the heat really bothers me.  More than once, my son Kris and his wife Dustie said "we need to get Mom in the shade or you need to get her some water to drink". (pause)  It was really neat, touching and loving to see my children starting to care for me!!  Then today in church, we had a very difficult meeting to attend.  We have attended this church for 35 years and it was voted on and the decision was made we must close October 31, 2004. After the meeting I wept in my oldest son Randy's arms.  And, he held me and said "that it would be alright,Mom".  The circle is closing .....as it should be.

Random Thoughts

I have many things I want to write about but right now my mind is very tired and I want to take my time.

I want to write about: my family, my wishes, my hobbies, my God, love, heartache, worries, fears...

35th ANNIVERSARY

July 12, 1969 in St. Vincent, Minnesota - Bill and I were married. Seems hard to believe - at times, it seems like a lifetime ago and yet, it seems like yesterday.

On my wedding day I thought - how could I love someone more than this? And yet, I do. My heart still jumps when I hear his voice, when I see him, when I feel his touch.

I know no man other than his father, that is so devouted to his wife. I have never ever doubted his unwaivering love for me. We have been through many many hard times together but our love was never in doubt and was what always brought us through - that AND our mutual love for God.

My Heritage and My Writings....

I come from a family with 3 of us sisters that were blessed with passing on many gifts from our parents and grandparents. Just to name a few are: the love of music (ALL KINDS), the love of books, the love of the arts, AND the love of WORDS.

Both my sisters and myself love all of the above...funny thing that doesn't always work out in a family. (hmmmm?)

I have contemplated a blog for many years. I have been married for 35 years and for the most of them have kept a journal. I do think that reading of people of years ago and their inner thoughts helps us to understand them better. I do this so that maybe, just maybe, my grandchildren might see this. Oh well, if they don't it's at least a mental therapy exercise for me. I enjoy it.

With that in mind however, I have thought about what I might say and might not say in this blog. I strongly believe that there are "some" thoughts that are not meant to be in written form. What I mean by that is, oh yes, I would really like to say...write...what I sometimes think - but!! - words and inner thoughts can be destructive. So, you will peak into my mind at times, but it will not be open to all - only God has that privilege. BB

Thanks to my "baby" sister

This is my first post on my brand new blog thanks to my sister Trish.

I wish I had 1% of your computer abililites. You have helped me out so much over the years.

You know the saying "blood is thicker than water" - I love you forever and always no matter what!! Your sister, Betty (Boop)

Giving and Receiving

One of the most giving persons I've ever known is my sister, Betty. Oh sure, she has her bad moments like the rest of us, but trust me, she has a lot more patience and kindness! I had great respect for her* as a teenager and young woman, going to her for advice many times. She and my brother-in-law were there for me when I needed support, and I have never made it clear to them how much that meant. You say thank you at the time, you even cry or hug. But it's only when you're older that you realize how much it meant, or how big a deal it was for them to offer their compassion and practical help as you struggled with a problem.

One thing I've noticed though about our family, and that is that sooner or later we get all emotional and let it all hang out, and that's a good thing. We don't think it's too undignified to show our appreciation for one another. Life it too short for that. Way too short. I swear it accelerates as the years pass, or so I perceive it. It's becoming one big blur, each day whizzing by.

Whoever may read this, think about it. Love everyone you can around you. My motto is: Yesterday is gone (cherish but don't regret, it's over), Tomorrow may never come (plan, but don't expect), but today...today is NOW...pay attention to it...use it well...it's all you have.

*I still do...